Coming to believe that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity is much easier than it sounds once I fully grasp that Step Two isn’t asking me to understand, or define that Power. All it’s asking me to understand is that I alone, cannot restore myself to sanity. And I desperately need a Power greater than me if I hope to have any sanity in my life.
Step One should have shown me that each time I tried to make something sane and rational out of my life, I failed. A good sponsor will help me see the insanity behind my ideas and decisions. And without a Power greater than me, I will continue to fail at building a sane life. Whether I’m trying to make a living, mend a relationship, or just stop using and drinking — without this Power, there’s no hope any of it will ever look like anything close to sanity. Without this Power it will continue to look like drama, failure and my favorite, “their fault.”
So what stops me from accepting God? My insane prejudice. I think I know what God is, what God should and will do for me and what He won’t. The sooner I come to realize I have a lot of ideas about God and that they are probably all wrong (including the one you’re having right now), the better.
The Big Book promises me that “the consciousness of my belief will come to me” as I work through the steps. This means God will reveal his Power to me as I work these steps. I will come to understand God slowly, as I write inventory, make amends, learn to meditate, etc.
If this step is difficult, use the Set Aside Prayer like this,
“God, please set aside everything I think I know about You, the steps and my own sanity. Help me see the truth so that I may have an open mind and a new experience.”
And remember, we don’t get the promise of being restored to sanity until Step 10. Keep going!
– Anonymous